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Zombie Outbreak in Highgate ends quickly as even dead middle-class people have ridiculous allergies.

By   1 year ago

A recent Zombie outbreak which some feared was the start of the end of the world, has ended abruptly as the Zombies died of a strange allergy to a protein found in human flesh. The Hamilton-Smythe family of Highgate, north London caught a strange virus from bad batch of Waitrose Dairy and gluten fee organic […]

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Female convict evades capture from Male guards by disguising herself as a clitoris.

By   1 year ago

A female convict has escaped prison in a bizarre incident. Siobhan O’Hoolihan was found missing from her cell on the morning of September 9th, and no one had a clue where she was. It was almost as if she had vanished into thin air until she sent a letter to the prison warden explaining how […]

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Woodward family row as Ed fails to sign his daughter’s birthday card

By   1 year ago

A huge row has broken out in the home of Manchester United Chief Executive Edward Woodward. It has come on the day of his daughter’s birthday when it came to light that he failed to sign her card. Neighbours heard a child screaming and shouting and assumed Jose Mourinho was over again complaining about the […]

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Serena Williams Only Accused The Umpire Of Sexism Because He Is A Man

By   1 year ago

Serena Williams has come under some criticism after she accused a male umpire of being sexist during her recent loss in some tennis tournament. Serena claimed that the umpire had been bias in giving her code violations, all because she is a women. She then told Carlos Ramos that he would never umpire any of […]

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Porn Tax: UK Government To Start Charging Tax Per Minute Spent Watching Porn

By   1 year ago

The UK Government, in recent years, toyed with the idea of banning pornography across the UK. Now, they are revisiting the subject and looking to bring in what is effectively a ‘Porn Tax’. “Instead of banning it, we will link up Paypal and Apple Pay gateways, to enable users to continue to watch at their […]

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Harvey Weinstein And Hollywood Males Fight Back With #YouToo? Twitter Campaign In Light Of Recent Allegations

By   1 year ago

Harvey Weinstein has come out from the shadows after a turbulent few months with a new lease of life. Following the collapse of the #MeToo movement after chief protagonist, champion and ambassador Asia Argento has been accused and admitted herself to having sex with a minor and paying a large sum of money to keep […]

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Angela Merkel To Let 1 Million Ebola Stricken African Refugees Into Germany To Increase “Disease Diversity” Figures

By   1 year ago

Angela Merkel is facing criticism after announcing that she will be allowing 1 million Ebola stricken African refugees into Germany to increase the diversity of diseases on the continent. “We only have very casual illnesses here. I cannot remember the last case of Ebola in Europe. What this will bring is a fresh batch of […]

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Apple Inc. Working On Technology To Access The Brain Of Steve Jobs

By   1 year ago

Apple, the US tech company, are currently working on a top secret project that will see it develop technology to access the brain of Steve Jobs, to ensure it can keep up with the trends of consumers. The project, aptly named ‘Forensic Understanding of Clinical Knowledge, Private Reconciliation Invasion Via Anti Corporate Yielding’ – AKA, […]

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    Lifestyle View All →

    Zombie Outbreak in Highgate ends quickly as even dead middle-class people have ridiculous allergies.

    By   1 year ago

    A recent Zombie outbreak which some feared was the start of the end of the world, has ended abruptly as the Zombies died of a strange allergy to a protein found in human flesh. The Hamilton-Smythe family of Highgate, north London caught a strange virus from bad batch of Waitrose Dairy and gluten fee organic […]

    Read More →

    Female convict evades capture from Male guards by disguising herself as a clitoris.

    By   1 year ago

    A female convict has escaped prison in a bizarre incident. Siobhan O’Hoolihan was found missing from her cell on the morning of September 9th, and no one had a clue where she was. It was almost as if she had vanished into thin air until she sent a letter to the prison warden explaining how […]

    Read More →

    Harvey Weinstein And Hollywood Males Fight Back With #YouToo? Twitter Campaign In Light Of Recent Allegations

    By   1 year ago

    Harvey Weinstein has come out from the shadows after a turbulent few months with a new lease of life. Following the collapse of the #MeToo movement after chief protagonist, champion and ambassador Asia Argento has been accused and admitted herself to having sex with a minor and paying a large sum of money to keep […]

    Read More →

    Millennial Launches Kickstarter Campaign For Personal Support Because They “Cannot Be Bothered To Work”

    By   1 year ago

    Kickstarter, the website where you can raise funds for your project, has had a new pitch recently added. A young women, who is a part of the millennial generation, has launched a campaign to raise £1,750,000.00 to support their life, as they cannot be bothered to get a job and work for a living. “I […]

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    Mother of 3, Who Swapped Children For Drugs For 4 Years, Wins Sole Custody As Judge Felt ‘Sorry For Her’

    By   1 year ago

    A Mother of 3, who neglected her children for 4 years due to an abusive drug addiction, has spent the last 3 months battling in court for custody from the father. Today, she won that battle after breaking down in the court room, and the judge saying he ‘felt sorry for her’. The father has […]

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    LADBible To Rebrand And Change Name To ‘PersonBible’ Following Protests To Be More Inclusive For Women

    By   1 year ago

    Popular online media publishing company, LADBible, are to change their name and rebrand to be more inclusive, to those that identify as something other than a man. It comes after protests online and campaigns in the streets of London outside their offices, orchestrated by a rowdy bunch of feminist women, pressuring the company into admitting […]

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    UK Schools To Ban Pupils From Wanting To Be Alone At School, As It Is “Self-Exclusionary”, Advises Child Psychologist

    By   1 year ago

    A Primary School in Buckinghamshire has taken a bold step in not allowing children to spend any part of the school day alone, in fear that it is “self-exclusionary”, and puts children at risk of finding their identity, finding their personality and becoming independent, functioning people. “Self-exclusion is a very real issue”, says psychologist, Dr. […]

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    Trans-Racial? How About ‘Transgalactic’? Man Says He “Feels Like He Belongs On Venus”

    By   1 year ago

    There was a “Transracial” first only a year or so ago… and now we have a Transgalactic – someone who feels they belong on a different planet. Cortnee-lynne, a non-binary man from Burton-on-Trent, has come forward with the story that he feels he does not belong on earth. It all began when he one day […]

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