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Zombie Outbreak in Highgate ends quickly as even dead middle-class people have ridiculous allergies.

By   /  September 21, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle, Science  /  No Comments

A recent Zombie outbreak which some feared was the start of the end of the world, has ended abruptly as the Zombies died of a strange allergy to a protein found in human flesh. The Hamilton-Smythe family of Highgate, north London caught a strange virus from bad batch of Waitrose Dairy and gluten fee organic […]

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Female convict evades capture from Male guards by disguising herself as a clitoris.

By   /  September 10, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle  /  No Comments

A female convict has escaped prison in a bizarre incident. Siobhan O’Hoolihan was found missing from her cell on the morning of September 9th, and no one had a clue where she was. It was almost as if she had vanished into thin air until she sent a letter to the prison warden explaining how […]

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Woodward family row as Ed fails to sign his daughter’s birthday card

By   /  September 10, 2018  /  All, Celebrity, Sport  /  No Comments

A huge row has broken out in the home of Manchester United Chief Executive Edward Woodward. It has come on the day of his daughter’s birthday when it came to light that he failed to sign her card. Neighbours heard a child screaming and shouting and assumed Jose Mourinho was over again complaining about the […]

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Serena Williams Only Accused The Umpire Of Sexism Because He Is A Man

By   /  September 10, 2018  /  All, Celebrity, Sport  /  No Comments

Serena Williams has come under some criticism after she accused a male umpire of being sexist during her recent loss in some tennis tournament. Serena claimed that the umpire had been bias in giving her code violations, all because she is a women. She then told Carlos Ramos that he would never umpire any of […]

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Porn Tax: UK Government To Start Charging Tax Per Minute Spent Watching Porn

By   /  September 9, 2018  /  All, Politics  /  No Comments

The UK Government, in recent years, toyed with the idea of banning pornography across the UK. Now, they are revisiting the subject and looking to bring in what is effectively a ‘Porn Tax’. “Instead of banning it, we will link up Paypal and Apple Pay gateways, to enable users to continue to watch at their […]

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Harvey Weinstein And Hollywood Males Fight Back With #YouToo? Twitter Campaign In Light Of Recent Allegations

By   /  September 9, 2018  /  All, Celebrity, Lifestyle  /  No Comments

Harvey Weinstein has come out from the shadows after a turbulent few months with a new lease of life. Following the collapse of the #MeToo movement after chief protagonist, champion and ambassador Asia Argento has been accused and admitted herself to having sex with a minor and paying a large sum of money to keep […]

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Angela Merkel To Let 1 Million Ebola Stricken African Refugees Into Germany To Increase “Disease Diversity” Figures

By   /  September 9, 2018  /  All, Politics  /  No Comments

Angela Merkel is facing criticism after announcing that she will be allowing 1 million Ebola stricken African refugees into Germany to increase the diversity of diseases on the continent. “We only have very casual illnesses here. I cannot remember the last case of Ebola in Europe. What this will bring is a fresh batch of […]

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Apple Inc. Working On Technology To Access The Brain Of Steve Jobs

By   /  September 9, 2018  /  All, Business  /  No Comments

Apple, the US tech company, are currently working on a top secret project that will see it develop technology to access the brain of Steve Jobs, to ensure it can keep up with the trends of consumers. The project, aptly named ‘Forensic Understanding of Clinical Knowledge, Private Reconciliation Invasion Via Anti Corporate Yielding’ – AKA, […]

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Outrage As Jeff Bezos Orders Entire $106.2bn Fortune To Be Cremated With Him When He Dies

By   /  September 9, 2018  /  All, Business  /  No Comments

Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon, was recently praised for taking amazon to the $1,000,000,000,000USD mark in terms of value. However, he has come in for some criticism as he has requested that all of his fortune dies along with him when he does. “A number of large corporate CEO’s earn their money, and then decide […]

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Millennial Launches Kickstarter Campaign For Personal Support Because They “Cannot Be Bothered To Work”

By   /  September 9, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle, Opinion  /  No Comments

Kickstarter, the website where you can raise funds for your project, has had a new pitch recently added. A young women, who is a part of the millennial generation, has launched a campaign to raise £1,750,000.00 to support their life, as they cannot be bothered to get a job and work for a living. “I […]

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