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Zombie Outbreak in Highgate ends quickly as even dead middle-class people have ridiculous allergies.

By   /  September 21, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle, Science  /  No Comments

A recent Zombie outbreak which some feared was the start of the end of the world, has ended abruptly as the Zombies died of a strange allergy to a protein found in human flesh. The Hamilton-Smythe family of Highgate, north London caught a strange virus from bad batch of Waitrose Dairy and gluten fee organic […]

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Women Dies After Following “The Bleach Diet” That She Found In An Online Forum

By   /  September 4, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle, Science  /  No Comments

Everyday there appears to be a new diet. Shaun T’s 8 minute Abs was a classic, and now we’re down to 1 minute workouts to get in shape. For some, getting in shape is easy, but others, not so. People will do absolutely anything to not exercise, and that is where it all went wrong […]

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Global average IQ drops by 47 points after death of Stephen Hawking

By   /  March 14, 2018  /  All, Celebrity, Science  /  No Comments

A very sad day for the world as Stephen Hawking has died aged 76. Famed for his studies and literature on the history of the Universe, he truly was a world heavyweight of Science. A quick study has shown that the average IQ around the planet is now 47 points lower. Comments have flooded in […]

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Grunting in the gym shown to have no effect whatsoever

By   /  March 7, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle, Science, Sport  /  No Comments

Scientists have released a research document showing that grunting in the gym doesn’t do anything at all. We have all been there, trying to lose a bit of flab on the treadmill when all you can hear is the sound of someone fisting a harp seal coming from the dumbbells. Only to look round and […]

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God Apologises for Cancer mix up

By   /  March 5, 2018  /  All, Celebrity, Lifestyle, Science  /  No Comments

God has issued an apology to the world after confessing that Cancer was an accident. God and his team were developing an upgrade to the current bumble bee, when a miscalculation lead to the production of Cancer. In a rare interview he explained to us what went wrong. Yes Cancerr was an absolute catastrophe, we […]

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Doctors confess that Child with ADHD is just a shit bag

By   /  March 5, 2018  /  All, Lifestyle, Science  /  No Comments

A family are in shock today as they discover their son who was previously diagnosed with ADHD, is in fact just a gobshite. Zach Branson from Bracknell had spent the last few years with the aid of a teaching assistant in every class due to his diagnosed condition. He was diagnosed after setting fire to […]

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New scientific study reveals that absolute everything you eat, drink or do can give you cancer

By   /  March 3, 2018  /  All, Science  /  No Comments

  A new scientific study shows that contrary to popular belief, every single thing you eat, drink and do can result in you having cancer. Following years and years of pointless research studies, scientists have yet again spent millions of the general publics money on conducting pointless research programs to confirm useless information that we […]

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Vaccinated child dies of Cancer, AIDS and Polio all at the same time, 3 days after injections

By   /  March 3, 2018  /  All, Science  /  No Comments

  A child has died from a number of different diseases after being injected with government issued vaccinations. The family of the child were skeptical of having their child vaccinated following a number of articles they had read on Google. “One article said vaccines are a way for the government to control the population, and […]

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